Funny Jokes Blog

Where do Easter bunnies dance? At the basketball.

Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake…

Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’? ” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together.”

Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E.

Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed!

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of “Executives” was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some t ime and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that “too many people were steering and not enough rowing.” To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to “4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager” and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. “We must give him empowerment and enrichment.” That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

Collection Litter by Phil D Basket

What do you call a policeman with blonde hair ? A fair cop !