Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that […]
What tea do footballers drink? Penaltea!
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it’s daylight.
Where do lightning bolts go on dates? -To cloud 9
Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu: Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you […]
The couple was standing staring at one of the more expensive models in the auto showroom. A salesman sensing their debate over the price moved in and said, “This model is priced just over the car which is priced a few dollars above the car which costs no more than some models of the lowest […]
‘I hope you’re not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock,’ said the principal to a new boy. ‘No, Sir. I’ve got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.’
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one “ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them. And the other rabbit says, “were going to run for it you idiot I’m your […]
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”