Funny Jokes Blog

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours ? A hermit crab !

Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,’ said the first alien. `Don’t waste time talking to him. Can’t you see he’s only a child? ’ said the second […]

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour? ” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell […]

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read “To Seattle.” “What are you doing with that? ” asked the police officer. “I’m walking to Seattle,” said the hiker, “and I don’t want to lose my way.”

How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!

CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? He makes a swish!

Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. “I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said. “What do you mean? ” he asked. “Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”