Funny Jokes Blog

“May I take your order? ” the waiter asked. “Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? ” “Nothing special sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ? Robbery with violets !

Yo mama has so many chins, it looks like she’s wearing a fat necklace !!

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. “What’s the matter Johnny? ” asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: “that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home…I just want her to stay with you guys.”

How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? “You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand! I could be electrocuted! I could fall off the ladder and be paralyzed for life! You don’t love me anymore!”

What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw

Q: Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer instead of ‘Awomen’? A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ? A guard dog !

What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now? ” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a […]