Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.” The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”
What TV station do bees watch ? Bee bee c one!
Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn’t figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type ‘Happy Birthday’
Frankenstein: Help, I’ve got a short circuit! Igor: Don’t worry, I’ll lengthen it.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow? ” Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.” Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway […]
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is […]
Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said “Hell, I’m no actor, and I’ve got thirty movies to prove it!”
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, “Wow! I can’t believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!”
Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid.
Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.