Funny Jokes Blog

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the […]

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. “Was he tall or was he short? ” The businessman replies, “Both!”

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular

An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”. “Where did you get this exact information? ” “I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 seconds, no wait……

What’s the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled ‘The World’s Top Accountants - Nude!’.

Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don’t 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will

Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.