Funny Jokes Blog

An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, “We have lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York.” A little later, the pilot announced, “A second engine […]

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, “Guess who? ” The controller switched the field lights off and replied, “Guess where!”

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on […]

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.” So my family picked up our luggage and carried it […]

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another […]

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; […]

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices? ” he asked. “Yes or No,” she replied.

After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, …”

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem? ” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant, “and it took us […]

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.