Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, […]
A guy walked into a bar and said “Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender.” But when it was time to pay, the guy didn’t have the money, so the bartender beat him up. The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even the bartender, and the […]
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.
“Didja hear the news? ” asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. “Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!” “Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!”
Twenty-four hours in a day… twenty-four beers in a case… coincidence?
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have? ” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one […]
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside? ” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why? ” […]
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, “What’s your pleasure? ” The seal replies, “Anything but Canadian Club.”
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey. The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. […]
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says ‘Sorry we don’t serve snails’ and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says… ‘What did you do that for!’