Funny Jokes Blog

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. ‘Hello, Jenny,’ said the neighbour. ‘Isn’t it time for little girls to be in bed? ’ ‘How would I know? ’ asked Jenny. ‘I haven’t got any little girls.’

You can’t have any more chocolates tonight. It’s not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach. Oh, Mum. I promise I’ll lay on my side.

Why shouldn’t you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying.

Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn’t been made up yet.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.

Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. There’s lots of room now,’ he said.

Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !

Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won’t come to them.