Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
While driving down a steep and curvy logging road, a group of biologists loose control of their 4-wd “Jimmy” and careen down the hill. The truck piles up at the bottom of the canyon, and everyone aboard perishes. Suprisingly, they all go to heaven. At an orientation they are asked, “When you are […]
How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifically with a group of captive grizzly bears. They had only two applicants - a beautiful young women biologist and an older male biologist. The mammalogist in charge of the project knew that not everyone can handle working with such fierce creatures […]
Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the only bar in town. On […]
An 8th grade boy was doing some research for his career report at school. He asks his dad, “Father, how many wildlife biologists work for the Federal Government? ” “The honest father replies, “Oh, I would say at least half of ‘em.”
Ben was assigned a new wildlife technician and she was driving him crazy. She was blonde and pretty and insisted on carrying beauty products in a little field bag - nail polish, hair care products, gels, creams and so on. One day they were driving the rugged four-wheel drive down a dirt road when […]
Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could […]
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right on the front row because he wanted to do […]
A biologist from the North Pole was showing a new recruit the ropes of a polar bear radio tracking program. The new recruit said, “I know how the transmitters work, but I have one question–how do you catch the polar bears in the first place? ” “I bet you use high-powered tranquilizer dart guns, […]
Q: what’s a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck