Funny Jokes Blog

Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice: The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one’s exposure. One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by […]

On Fred’s 17th birthday, his Dad said he’d take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, “Just one thing, Fred. If you’re going to hit anything, make sure it’s cheap.”

If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel.

Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ? Carpet !

Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. “Oh. Maud,” said her friend, “you’ve lost your engine!” “Never mind, dear,” said auntie. “I’ve got […]

Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell “coward” at the traffic signal? Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going? Motorist: No, you’re the one with the radar.

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: “Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro.” “What do you mean it’s illegal? ” asked the Englishmen. “Quattro means four,” replies the Italian official. “Quattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Englishmen […]

A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. “Why didn’t you let me know you were going to stop? ” he yelled into the mist. “Why should I? ” came a voice out of the fog. “I’m […]