Funny Jokes Blog

On a special teacher’s day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, “I bet I know what it is – flowers!” “That’s right!” said the boy, “but how did you know? ” “Just a wild guess,” she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is – a box of candy!” “That’s right! But how did you know? ” asked the girl. “Just a lucky guess,” said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. “Is it wine? ” she asked. “No,” the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. “Is it champagne? ” she asked. “No,” the boy replied. The teacher then said, “I give up, what is it? ” The boy replied, “A puppy!”

A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord’s prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail, Amen.”

A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat’s tail. ‘Hey you!’ he shouted, ‘ don’t pull the cat’s tail !’ ‘I’m not pulling !’ replied the little boy. ‘I’m only holding on – the cat’s pulling !’

Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall.

My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, “You mean you can do all that, but you can’t operate my Game Boy? ”

‘Why are you crying, Ted ? ’ asked his mum. ‘Because my new sneakers hurt.’ ‘That’s because you have put them on the wrong feet.’ ‘But they are the only feet I have.’

Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six ! Son: I guess I didn’t learn anything today then !

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,’ Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father’s the one who dug the hole for it.’ Bill wasn’t impressed, ‘ Well, that’s nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father’s the one who killed it !

Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Eddie’s father called up to him, ‘Eddie, if you don’t stop playing that trumpet I think I’ll go crazy!’ Eddy replied, ‘I think you are already, I stopped playing half an hour ago.’