Funny Jokes Blog

Visitor: Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them? Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot.

What advice to cows give? Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

Three cowboys of the world are sitting around camp talking about how tough they were and the tales kept getting bigger and bigger. The cowboy from Australia says, “I wrestled a 200 pound crocodile and may it cry like a baby.” The Cowboy from Brazil shakes his head and says, “I killed a 400 pound steer with my bare hands.” The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept stirring the campfire with his leg.

The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury. “All right!” he raged, “all right! Who did it? What goldarned varmint painted my horse blue? ” The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door. “It was me, shrimp,” he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, “what about it? ” “Oh, well, er,” stammered little Pete wretchedly, “all I wanted to say was. . .when are you going to give it another coat? ”

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued. “The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him. “Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on. “That would be the usher,” Charlie explained. “Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said. “You mean the aisle,” Charlie said. “Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued. “Pew,” Charlie retorted. “Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn’t keep his calves together!

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? Gimme a slug of whiskey.

Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins.

Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins.

Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were resting their horses out on the range. “What’d Emmaline give yew for yore birthday? ” asked Swint. “Pair of cufflinks,” said Fess. “But I ain’t got no use for them. I can’t even find anyplace to get my wrists pierced.”