Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith. The big […]
Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out.
If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have? Organised grime (crime).
A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…” He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece […]
What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, “This is a muck up!” “Don’t you mean a stick up? ” asked the girl. “No,” said the robber, “it’s a muckup. I’ve forgotten my gun.”
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this? ” The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook […]
Who was the world’s greatest thief ? Atlas, because he held up the whole world !
Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer? Now he’s a hardened criminal.
What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !