Category Archive for 'Dead and dying jokes'

My brother’s a ..

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

My brother’s a professional boxer. Heavyweight ? No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !

Why do you want to be ..

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

Why was George Washington ..

Thursday, December 27th, 2007

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ? Because he was dead !

When a knight in armour ..

Friday, December 21st, 2007

When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave ? Rust in peace !

A man is calling on ..

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friend’s wife has died. When he knocks on the door, he gets no answer, so he decides to go in and see if everything is all right. Upon entering the house, the man discovers his friend in […]

Why did the cowboy die ..

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ? Because he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What is the last thing ..

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

What is the last thing you eat before you die? You bite the dust.

Did you hear about the ..

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

Did you hear about the do-it-yourself funeral? They just loosen the earth and you sink down by yourself.

What did the little ..

Friday, October 26th, 2007

What did the little kid do with the dead battery? He buried it.

First ghoul: You don’t ..

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

First ghoul: You don’t look too well today. Second ghoul: No, I’m dead on my feet.