Funny Jokes Blog

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.” Confounded at the […]

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells? A dead centipede.

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. “Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I’d like to be buried at sea.” So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, “Local Fishermen Were Shocked […]

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game […]

What’s a zombie’s favorite pop song? Dead sails in the sunset.

A chap went up to the counter in the library and said, “Have you got any books about committing suicide? ” The librarian said, “Yes. Take a look over there, somewhere on the middle shelf.” The chap came back a few moments later and said, “I can’t find any at all.” The librarian replied, “Yes, […]

There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song “Hokey Pokey” died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in…. Well, you know the rest.

What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.

Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gathered around him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room. Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, “That’s it, one last time before I die I must have some of your delicious chopped liver.” Sam’s wife looked at […]

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead ? , I didn’t even know he was sick !