Funny Jokes Blog

A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, “Judge, we want a divorce.” The judge says, “You’ve been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long? ” The couple say in unison, “Well, we wanted to wait […]

A hillbilly walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: “May I help you? ” Hillbilly: “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces”. Attorney: “Well do you have any grounds? ” Hillbilly: “Yea, I got about a hundred acres.” Attorney: “No, you don’t understand, do you […]

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce? ” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this […]

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace? ” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone’s going to lose their trailer…

Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: “I’m going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month.” To which the woman’s about-to-be ex replied: “That’s mighty kind of you, judge. I’ll try to help her all […]

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on […]

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board. When she had finished, the husband’s lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied, “Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the charging documents. My client claims that […]

Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.