Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. “Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.” The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t […]
How does a farmer send messages? By e-i-e-i-o-mail.
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury […]
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, “You can have this rooster. His name’s Roy. He’ll get all your hens pregnant. He’s a real stud.” So the farmer takes him home […]
What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn’t fit into the pen? “There’s more there than meets the sty.”
A farmer was interviewing a young man for the job of assistant farmhand. `You’ll need to be fit,’ said the farmer. `Have you ever had any illnesses? Any accidents? ’ ‘No, sir,’ replied the young man proudly. `But you’re on crutches. You must have had an accident!’ said the farmer. `Oh, the crutches!’ […]
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the […]
Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ? He wanted to grow mash potatoes!
A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man […]
Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.