Funny Jokes Blog

Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop…suddenly the Town’s Fire Alarm went off … one jumped up and headed for the door … his friend shouted, “Hey, Tom, I didn’t know you were a fireman!” Tom replied, “I’m not, but my girlfriend’s husband is…”

Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don’t get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck.

During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, “TOUCHDOWN!!”

If – H 2 O – is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K 9 P

A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks. After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean? “That’s easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour.” says the devil. “I don’t see the Chiefs clock anywhere? ” the fireman says. The devil replied, “Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we’re using it for a fan.”

Q.How do you put out a fire? A.Take away the HEAT , FUEL , OXYGEN , or the CHIEF!

The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars. However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave. As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, “Don’t worry… it’s just the dispatcher toning him out.”

A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling ’swoosh’ the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump. “No way! I saw what you did to my friend.” exclaimed the redhead. “I am sorry” said the Chief, “My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don’t like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads….jump it’s your only chance.” So the redhead jumped. On the way down ’swoosh’ the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!” The firefighters a gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to jump. The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival was to jump. “No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two friends.” “I’m sorry” said the Chief, “I explained what happened to the brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will not happen again, just jump!” The blonde thought for a moment. “OK I’ll jump – but first I want you to lay the blanket on the ground, back away, and then I’ll jump into it.”

here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any birds they shoot. One year they did’t go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn’t have a replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what the Corona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We ll whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time.

Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen? A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).