Funny Jokes Blog

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !

What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!

Many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us.” After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn’t matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. “Let’s call the boys Towards and Away,” suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, “Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea.” They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman’s wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. “My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys? ” she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: “We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again.” “Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!” “Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away….”

What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring, herring…herring, herring…herring, herring.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !

Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.

What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !

What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !

Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I’m not fishing, I’m drowning worms.

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!