Funny Jokes Blog

Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places? Vanderkron: I wouldn’t go to these places no more!

The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager to count to five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his fingers. Then the teacher asked, “Can you count any higher? ” The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five again.

Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder? Harry: What did the sign say? Fred: Stop.

A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, “Watcha got in the sack? ” The old man responds, “I got some monkeys in that there sack.” The younger man asks, “If I […]

What did the stupid ghost do? He used to climb over walls.

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner’s newly installed fire prevention alarm system. “This is even worse than last year,” said the distraught homeowner, “when someone broke in and stole my new security system…”

Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in. “Ah think somebody’s stealin’ yore pickup truck!” the man said breathlessly. Kennan ran outside, but came back right away. “Well, did yew stop him? ” asked Stakely. “Naw!” said the redneck. “He was too fast. But […]

Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?

Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door, “Back in 30 minutes,” so he sat down to wait for himself?

Guidry called in Plotke, the painter, for an estimate to paint his house. “How much you gonna charge me? ” asked Guidry. “Twenty dollars an hour,” replied Plotke. “Good Lord!” exclaimed the home owner. “I wouldn’t pay Michelangelo that price!” “I tell you one thing, mister,” said the painter. “If […]