Funny Jokes Blog

What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You’re too late – it’s already been done.

Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.

What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ? DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? “We just report the facts, we don’t change them.”

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? ” To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a journalist and I’ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations.” To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200? ”

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !

What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ? A croaksman !

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm. “This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like? ” The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “Radio is broken.”

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.