Funny Jokes Blog

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is […]

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he’d quit — seems they’d matched him up with his wife.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. […]

Miles Dobson was away from home on business in another city. When he called home, his wife told him, “Miles, they had your name in the obits today.” “What! In the obituary column! That’s not only disgraceful but bad journalism. I’ll sue ‘em.” “Tell me, Miles,” his wife asked tremulously, “wh…wh…where are you calling […]

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that? ” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”

I overheard a friend telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.” “What is she doing? ”, the pal asks. “Waiting for me to get home.”

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, […]

Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that? ” “Gosh,” Jack says, “why I […]

When Mr. Maxwell’s wife left him he couldn’t sleep. “She took the bed!”

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,” said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough? ” The woman replied, “Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.”