Funny Jokes Blog

Q. “Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats? ” A. “So that if the seat falls while they’re drinking, it won’t smack them in the back of the head”

During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, “How’d you learn to shoot like that ? Have you ever been in combat before? ” “Well suh,” drawled the boy, “To be honest, this is my first public war.”

The theatrical manager exclaimed: “Your last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown. You enacted so well that officer wounded on the battlefield. Your suffering looked very much like real.” “It was. I’ve got a large nail in my shoe.” “Well,” said the manager, “for heaven’s sake leave it in until the end of […]

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: “Do you know they are all out of step except you? ” “What? ” asked the recruit innocently. “I said — they are […]

Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiting for the snow to be plowed of, they were able to take-off. The planes taxied off and stoped a hundred yards to the flight line. The civilians had forgot to finish […]

The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: “All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!” Then, with […]

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: “What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map? ” “That object, naturally.” “What makes you think that? ” ” ‘Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can’t see that object even at day time.”

Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

- When the general comes, report to me immediately. The general doesn’t show. The sergeant gets nervous and every hour reminds the sentry to report about the general’s arrival. Finally, the general comes in. - Where have you been? asks the sentry. The sergeant has already asked about you four times.

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.