Funny Jokes Blog

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. ‘I’ve lost five cents,’ sobbed Johnny. ‘Don’t worry,’ said his dad kindly.’ Here’s five more for you,’ At this Johnny howled louder than ever. ‘Now what is it ? ’ asked his dad. ‘I wish I’d said I’d lost ten cents!’

Visitor: You’re very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that’s crying, ‘Ice cream! Ice Cream !’

How can you make money fast? Glue it to the floor.

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. “I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.” “I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer. “Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, “I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.”

What did the man do when he got a big gas bill? He exploded.