Funny Jokes Blog

Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said “Hell, I’m no actor, and I’ve got thirty movies to prove it!”

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I’ve got this neat candle holder…

What do you call a fight between film actors ? Star wars !

Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One — but it’s an 8 hour minimum.

Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he’d make it up to them on the next one.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

Q: How many 2nd AD’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh…standby, I’ll check on that.

Why can’t anyone stay angry long with an actress? Because she always makes up.

Q: How many UPM’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None! If you’d just make it a day exterior we wouldn’t be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!”

After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate. “So sorry about your untimely death,” he tells the director. […]