Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” “Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then […]
A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, “What will you take….30 days or $30.” The man replied, “I think I’ll take the money.”
A tourist asks a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman? ” “No, I am an undercover detective.” “So why are you in uniform? ” “Today is my day off.”
Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies? Officer: You assigned me to the swat team, didn’t you?
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… “Pull over!” “No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it? ” “That it is, […]
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Hi, is this the police? Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance? Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.
Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital? Officer: Just stand where you are!!!
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is […]
“Now as I understand it, Sir,” said the police officer to the motorist, “you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened? ” “I’m afraid not, officer,” replied the motorist. “I had my eyes shut!”