Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear […]
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. “But will it be all right in the rain? ” she asked anxiously. “Oh certainly, ma’am,” said the manager smoothly. “After all, you’ve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you? ”
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little S’s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered “When […]
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
What’s wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
What’s yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown ? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear’s forgotten cousin !
What’s the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !