Mikes Daily Dose of (mostly..) Hilarous Jokes
Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, “it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The […]
When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!
Come on, Fred, I’ll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!
Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my elephants” Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper? ” Zoo Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”
Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his […]
What’s the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo? In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.
My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, “If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!”
An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. […]
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, […]
Sauer and Tolbert went to the zoo and watched in awe as a lion let loose with a spine-tingling roar. “Let’s get out of here!” said Sauer. “Go on, if’n you want to,” said the other redneck. “But Ah’m stayin’ for the whole movie!”