Funny Jokes Blog

Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid.

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Belle ! Belle who ? Belle-t up and open this door !

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he’d quit — seems they’d matched him up with his wife.

What do you call a pig with the flu? A swine swine.

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn’t be so clumsy!

Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.